It is quite rare to find articles about children coaching. However, some researchers & theorists have tried to understand how children regulate their emotions & behaviors according to people and situation. Denham et al., 2003. Research in children developmental psychopathology have greatly highlighted the role of Emotion Regulation (ER) in development & management of negative emotions such as anger and sadness. Many factors influence the development of ER. Child temperament, neurophysiology and cognitive development all play important roles (Eisenberg & Morris, et al. 2002)
In terms of coaching, some links can be made which can help to increase parents awareness and provide behaviors tips which increase their self-confidence from an early age and increase their chances of becoming successful in their careers and personal lives.
1. Give a chance to your children to experience and take reasonable risk
In this time of maximum security, it is clearly the reverse trend which is occurring. However, It has been discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee, they frequently have phobias as adults. Kids need to fall a few times to learn it’s normal; teens likely need to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate the emotional maturity that lasting relationships require. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders.
2. Let them solve their small problems
It is has been demonstrated that success is not a straight line process without up and down steps. Problem solving is a key quality which will contribute to understand how things works. Rescuing is a natural behaviour and it gives a feeling to parents, they are doing great. However, it’s making childs dependant of you and later on when they will try to become more independant, it can be a more complex process to obtain these skills. Learning by doing could be said, Making mistake by doing in order to gain in leadership.
3. Share your experiences
Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.
4. Avoid tangible rewards
Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall. Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.
5. Let them choose new opportunities
Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities. Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.
6. Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely
Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.
Your child does not have to love you every minute. He’ll get over the disappointment of failure but he won’t get over the effects of being spoiled. So let them fail, let them fall, and let them fight for what they really value. If we treat our kids as fragile, they will surely grow up to be fragile adults. We must prepare them for the world that awaits them. Our world needs resilient adults not fragile ones.
Samuel Roux, Founder & CEO @ Start with your Coach® ✅