7 tips to start coaching your kids


It is quite rare to find articles about children coaching. However, some researchers & theorists have tried to understand how children regulate their emotions & behaviors according to people and situation. Denham et al., 2003. Research in children developmental psychopathology have greatly highlighted the role of Emotion Regulation (ER) in development & management of negative emotions such as anger and sadness. Many factors influence the development of ER. Child temperament, neurophysiology and cognitive development all play important roles (Eisenberg & Morris, et al. 2002)

In terms of coaching, some links can be made which can help to increase parents awareness and provide behaviors tips which increase their self-confidence from an early age and increase their chances of becoming successful in their careers and personal lives.

1. Give a chance to your children to experience and take reasonable risk

In this time of maximum security, it is clearly the reverse trend which is occurring. However, It has been discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee, they frequently have phobias as adults. Kids need to fall a few times to learn it’s normal; teens likely need to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate the emotional maturity that lasting relationships require. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders.

2. Let them solve their small problems

It is has been demonstrated that success is not a straight line process without up and down steps. Problem solving is a key quality which will contribute to understand how things works. Rescuing is a natural behaviour and it gives a feeling to parents, they are doing great. However, it’s making childs dependant of you and later on when they will try to become more independant, it can be a more complex process to obtain these skills. Learning by doing could be said, Making mistake by doing in order to gain in leadership.

3. Share your experiences

Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.

4. Avoid tangible rewards

Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall. Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.

5. Let them choose new opportunities

Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities. Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

6. Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely

Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

Your child does not have to love you every minute. He’ll get over the disappointment of failure but he won’t get over the effects of being spoiled. So let them fail, let them fall, and let them fight for what they really value. If we treat our kids as fragile, they will surely grow up to be fragile adults. We must prepare them for the world that awaits them. Our world needs resilient adults not fragile ones.

Samuel Roux, Founder & CEO @ Start with your Coach® ✅

A new perspective of leadership

Even if it sounds elitist, leadership is a key quality to be acquired by employees.

Try to gain leadership from an employee point of view could be perceived as difficult whereas Top-manager are supposed to be granted of it. However, it’s not by thinking on a conservative way that employees will have a chance to get to discover leadership. It should be a commun employees belief that leadership can be acquired by each of us who wants to make a change of perspectives, despite high level of hierarchy in its organisation.

The positive impact will completely transform your way of perceiving things and actions. The mindset shift will transform you. This will be possible only if your raise your viewpoint from little details to a broader picture, not only on your work but on a larger scale as your department, your business unit, your division or even your whole company. This way of changing perspectives, will give you a chance of catching what are at stakes, for each entity and how these confrontations or similarities will affect your own decisions or understanding.

You will become able to rise as said by Hiroshi Mikitani from « the minutiae and take a big-picture view of your work and the work of others. You start thinking long term and build strategies for achieving goals. You see things differently, just as you do when you climb tothe top of Mt. Fuji. You’re able to see far into the distance not because you have superior vision, but because you enacted a plan and climbed to the summit. »

But why it can has a use for your company. The main advantage will be that you can see the profits and losses, the pros and the cons and how your position can benefit from this whole new understanding. It is like a little transformation for you and your close colleagues with who you interact on a daily basis, if of course you would like to share your new comprehension of the whole process. Interconnections will be rediscovered and strategies can be reinvented in order to gain in leadership.

How this can be a mutual benefit from your employer? It would be mean that if you have understood the system as whole, that you can assess your situation and reassess your actions priorities in order to perform more efficiently in a short term as well as in a longer term, as part of bigger system.

On a day to day work, great leaders act accordingly by identifying stakes, options and solutions which may be chosen by assessing advantages and drawbacks.

By having a new vision which will be based a broader picture of your new understanding, you should be able to bring new ideas as a leader not only based on your own position but as a whole organisation. This will makes the difference and will be clearly appreciated and identified by your managers.

Have you ever experienced being a leader? What are for your the other aspects of leadership which are key to suceed?

Samuel Roux, Fondateur et coach professionnel @ Start with your Coach